Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
“To find the balance you want, this is what you must become. You must
keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have 4
legs instead of 2. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must
stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your
heart, instead. That way, you will know God.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
“Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If I want transformation, but can't even be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I'm aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don't have this, all your pleas and desires are boneless, floppy, inert; they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a FRIEND…
“There is a reason they call God a presence - because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“There's a reason we refer to "leaps of faith" - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational over to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
“Desiring another person is perhaps the most risky endeavor of all. As soon as you want somebody—really want him—it is as though you have taken a surgical needle and sutured your happiness to the skin of that person, so that any separation will now cause a lacerating injury.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
The karmic philosophy appeals to me on a metaphorical level because even in ones lifetime it's obvious how often we must repeat our same mistakes, banging our heads against the same ole addictions and compulsions, generating the same old miserable and often catastrophic consequences, until we can finally stop and fix it. This is the supreme lesson of karma ( and also of western psychology, by the way)- take care of the problem now, or else you'll just have to suffer again later when you screw everything up the next time. And that repetition of suffering-that's hell. Moving out of that endless repetition to a new level of understanding-there's where you'll find heaven.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
“Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If I want transformation, but can't even be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I'm aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don't have this, all your pleas and desires are boneless, floppy, inert; they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a FRIEND…
“There is a reason they call God a presence - because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“There's a reason we refer to "leaps of faith" - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational over to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
“Desiring another person is perhaps the most risky endeavor of all. As soon as you want somebody—really want him—it is as though you have taken a surgical needle and sutured your happiness to the skin of that person, so that any separation will now cause a lacerating injury.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
The karmic philosophy appeals to me on a metaphorical level because even in ones lifetime it's obvious how often we must repeat our same mistakes, banging our heads against the same ole addictions and compulsions, generating the same old miserable and often catastrophic consequences, until we can finally stop and fix it. This is the supreme lesson of karma ( and also of western psychology, by the way)- take care of the problem now, or else you'll just have to suffer again later when you screw everything up the next time. And that repetition of suffering-that's hell. Moving out of that endless repetition to a new level of understanding-there's where you'll find heaven.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
You came shopping with us yesterday, it was slightly awkward but it was nice. For the first time in a long time i felt like I had my best guy mate back... we could insult each other and punch each other like good ole times, the times i miss. the times where i knew i could talk to you about anything end everything, the times where i knew i could rely on you to be there for me when i needed you....... I can't help but feel things have changed since you came to the ball..... i know the ball wasn't the funnest of nights for you but you have to look at it from my perspective..... the first thing you said to me when i saw you was "you look amazing" i was flattered, but you were only my best guy mate and that's not what i wanted to hear... "you look nice" would've done the same thing but without the awkwardness...you and me, we had a good friendship... we cold insult and punch each other all we liked but we could also have good conversations as well....when you came to the ball you weren't that person.... as bad as it sounds you were a gentleman... holding the door open for me, offering me your coat.... that's not what i invited you to be... i invited you to be my good guy mate and to have some good fun..... i am sorry i wasn't the best that night but it was quite difficult.....it was almost as if i had been set up on a blind date with someone i had never met before......that's how it felt to me... I know you had you GF's ball 2 weeks before and so you were probably all gentleman there and that's fine, you're kinda spose to be when your her BF but not when we're just mates i didn't want you being all like that.... Yesterday reminded me of what i had been missing all this time... i don't know how to talk to you about it so you can understand and i know you wont see this cause you have no idea i have a blog but somehow i just want you to know that this is why i wasn't the best that night.... and the slow dance!!!! That was the most awkwardest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't like it was for a laugh even!!!! I was happy to sit there and watch all the COUPLES slow dance and then maybe get up with my best friend for a laugh and if me and you had done it for a laugh it would've been fine but it wasn't... it was too much.... I know you were just trying to make it a really god night for me but honestly, i think it would've been better if you had just relaxed and not thought about it all..... then maybe just maybe, I still would feel like i could come to you about anything....... I used to always tell you about guys... I havent told you about it recently...... i think you found out a bit yesterday but nowhere as much as you would normally know..... i don't know if that's just cause it's so similar to what me and you had or just cause we've been so distant lately.... the only time i hear from you is when you text both me and my best friend at the same time, a one worded text. and even then the convo doesn't last cause you're going to your GF's or you're going to youth or something...... Just let me know when i get my best guy mate back... please... cause i really miss him.....
Sunday, December 25, 2011
I'm happy for you but why does it seem like you're rubbing it in? It doesn't hurt so much now... im dealing with it but all of that right after im honest with you????? You couldnt've done it earlier or at least waited for a bit to spare my feelings???? I will never understand your relationship with her but i am happy for you and i want you to know that......you're better as a friend and i know that now.... i will talk to you properly eventually..... just not yet
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
You don't know you're beautiful
You're insecure
Don't know what for
You're turning heads when you walk through the door
Everyone else but you
Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell
You don't know
Oh Oh
You don't know you're beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful
Oh oh
But that's what makes you beautiful
You are amazing, you may have hurt me but i don't really care, you should be aware of everything you have going for you so you understand just how i feel about you.......
Don't know what for
You're turning heads when you walk through the door
Being the way that you are is enough
Everyone else in the room can see itEveryone else but you
Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell
You don't know
Oh Oh
You don't know you're beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful
Oh oh
But that's what makes you beautiful
You are amazing, you may have hurt me but i don't really care, you should be aware of everything you have going for you so you understand just how i feel about you.......
My past...
Not many people know about my past... not the ones important to me in my life right now.... i guess cause that was the old me.... what's the point in knowing the old me when you know the new me and im not going to change..... i plan to get baptised in the new year..... in this i will be cleansed of my past and will be reborn.... i look forward to that day.....where i can put my past behind me forever and be born a godly woman......
In a way the one im closest to now doesn't know about that..... but i don't know if i want them to... i know they have a past to so maybe it wouldn't be soo bad.... but you cant really just talk about it...... someone kinda brought it up tonight.... provoked this blog... they said they wandered if i was as cute and innocent as i seem.... i am now.... just didnt use to be... i wasnt going to open up to them though.... i barely know them..
I'm not proud of who i used to be... that's why i dont like to talk about it and the person that was involved isnt even a close mate anymore.... i wish they were..... i guess if i really want to change they wont be a big part of my life.....
Well thats all i have to say... its all a bit unended but i dont know what else to say... just needed to say that....
In a way the one im closest to now doesn't know about that..... but i don't know if i want them to... i know they have a past to so maybe it wouldn't be soo bad.... but you cant really just talk about it...... someone kinda brought it up tonight.... provoked this blog... they said they wandered if i was as cute and innocent as i seem.... i am now.... just didnt use to be... i wasnt going to open up to them though.... i barely know them..
I'm not proud of who i used to be... that's why i dont like to talk about it and the person that was involved isnt even a close mate anymore.... i wish they were..... i guess if i really want to change they wont be a big part of my life.....
Well thats all i have to say... its all a bit unended but i dont know what else to say... just needed to say that....
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Fight for your dreams
I wish I could do something that would make it better. Seeing you in pain tonight sucked and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't offer advice or anything. You had such a crap day as it was and this just really topped it off for you....This shouldn't happen, its only been 18 months and I know that that's what makes it so bad and hard to see you deal with.... You were so good for me when i was injured and down in the dumps but your situation is much worse and i don't know what to do but pray.... There's no advice I can give you really....i can suggest things to do and people to see but that's it.......I know how much you want this because I want it to and i want to see you get there, I want to get there.. i want to be able to say "we did it" and truth be told if we did get there it wouldn't have been without each others help.....both physically and emotionally. We're always there to push each other and to provide emotional support when needed.... and sometimes just to talk about how bad our days were....or how good they were..... or even just to annoy each other and joke around. I want to help but I cant... I want to talk to you but I don't know what to say.... It seems like you just a need a big hug to make you feel better but that could be weird.....I just want you to be able to chase your dream with nothing holding you back, i want you to see you fight for this and achieve your dream.I don't want to see you miss this as much as I don't want to miss this.... I will be praying though cause I believe that God can help you through this emotionally and physically......maybe you need to come to Church and get healed???? I don't know what else I can do to help......but I'll always be here for you to talk to about it... about anything...
Thursday, December 8, 2011
You are fine, you are sweet
Fine, I'm still a bit naive with my heart
When you're close, I don't breathe
I can't find the words to speak and I feel sparks
But I don't wanna be into you
If you're not looking for true love
No, I don't wanna start seeing you
If I can't be your only one,
I dont like you atm..... just finall yfound a song that explained how i do feel.....
Fine, I'm still a bit naive with my heart
When you're close, I don't breathe
I can't find the words to speak and I feel sparks
But I don't wanna be into you
If you're not looking for true love
No, I don't wanna start seeing you
If I can't be your only one,
I dont like you atm..... just finall yfound a song that explained how i do feel.....
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Blinded by Love
You said the other night you would never let her prevent you talking to your girl mates cause you have too many and you trust each other enough for that to not be a problem...so why the flip are you letting her prevent you from coming on our tramp????!!!!
If you she's having trust issues now, cause your going away for what 30 hours? with 3 other girls when you've spent just about all your other free time with her... you dont think maybe she's being a bit greedy? She gets yo u all to herself next year when you "elope" to America together!! Is she the one that suggested you move with here, not wait till you are going on your mission????
Maybe you are blinded by love and you can't see the fact that she's taking control over your life..... She's now stopping you from spending time with 3 really good mates...
Lately, you have been such a good friend, you have been there for me and all that but now im seeing you go down the road of my last best guy friend, becoming so obsessed with you girlfriend that you have no interest in spending time with anyone else!
You opened up to me the other night which is not something i was expecting....... but i didn't think it was going to be the last heart to heart conversation we would have.....I was going to buy a really nice birthday card today.... because that's how much you mean to me, as a friend, but im questioning it because i dont want you girlfriend to get jealous.....I found the perfect card for you but now your all in GF mode and that doesn't make me feel like i want to give it to you.... i mean when am i going to see you again anyway??!!! You're now nt coming on the tramp and i could get it to you at leavers diner but i dont want to do it in front of everyone... its a personal thing.....and Judging by the way you Gf is being we probably wont be able to hang out just as mates...... I'm gonna try though cause a friend like you is something special to have and i think that should be appreciated.
I'm also thinking of getting you a Christmas pressie.... just something little.....i found a couple of things one little and one a bit more expensive that i cant really afford but it was so you. this other thing though, it summed up the greatness of a friend like you in a nutshell....
You told me the other night something that made me want to cry, not cause i was upset about it but i dont know i just wanted to cry but didnt.....You said that you had feelings for me when we started really getting along well.... I had feeling s for you as well but i kept them under my hat......well to you anyway.. i denied it at first but i couldn't any longer.....you said that you hadn't been just midnlessly flirting with me all that time, you did actaully have feelings for me... but when we started becoming really close you had to make your mind up.. you said "it was her, its always been her" . I accept that and thats fine... but knowing you had feelings for me and knowing all the stuff you said and when yo utold me you meant it all my heart ached..... she is such a lucky girl to have you but
(non biass) if shes going to try and take over your life then its not worth it.....
You are so amazing.. i know ive told you that but you are...... you said if it was earlier in the year, the whole me and you thing, you might have actually gone there....If you feel like that then you shouldn't be with her!!!! (Non biass again) You are so incredible and just well everything and yeah i may think you are sorta in a cult but everyone is free to believe in whatever they like.........the only reason i think your in a cult is cause i don't think that anywhere in the bible it says you can drink coffee or tea or take painkillers....and you get sent to the other side of the world to preach the gospel... they have people in their own countries to do that..... you said the men are pretty much forced to go.... that's not fair....Anyway.. the point im getting to is that you're the kind of guy i could picture myself with........ But i know that's never gonna happen cause you have been in love with her and still am and rah rah rah but if you were in love with her then you shouldn't consider leaving her for someone you had just started to get to know........... okay yeah i would've felt terrible if you did but maybe it would've worked...??? who knows? But i think that when you came out and were honest with me the other night i maybe might've got butterflies... i don't know... maybe they were hidden by the heartache that i felt....If you two ere so in love and you've been at UHC all year then why do you never hang out? We never see you even associate with each other....that's a bit weird don't you think?
I don't know what im getting at here.. i've kinda lost track........but you are a great guy and you don't deserve to be wrapped around a girls finger, you should be allowed to have independence.... maybe at the age of 16 she cant understand that just cause you spend time with 3 other girls for 30 odd hours doesn't mean that anything would happen???!!!! And it shouldn't if you are as in love with her as you say you are......
Right its nearly 11pm i have racing i nthe w.e and you have made me really annoyed! I havent needed to update FB or go on blog because ive been happy! I gave something up to God for this first time and it felt AMAZING! I guess it time to do it with this aswell... maybe.... or maybe he wants to see me work with his guidance first... we'll see...... Ill leave with those though......
You are handsome, kind, caring, funny, athletic(secretly), honest, down to earth, God living...... I dont know what more one could want in a guy....... You are one special friend to me and you are truly a blessing from God. I wish you well with your relationship and moving to America. This is it....... "Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you two
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
I love you in a friend way and if she ever hurts you or whenwver you need a friend i'm always here, dont forget about me please.
If you she's having trust issues now, cause your going away for what 30 hours? with 3 other girls when you've spent just about all your other free time with her... you dont think maybe she's being a bit greedy? She gets yo u all to herself next year when you "elope" to America together!! Is she the one that suggested you move with here, not wait till you are going on your mission????
Maybe you are blinded by love and you can't see the fact that she's taking control over your life..... She's now stopping you from spending time with 3 really good mates...
Lately, you have been such a good friend, you have been there for me and all that but now im seeing you go down the road of my last best guy friend, becoming so obsessed with you girlfriend that you have no interest in spending time with anyone else!
You opened up to me the other night which is not something i was expecting....... but i didn't think it was going to be the last heart to heart conversation we would have.....I was going to buy a really nice birthday card today.... because that's how much you mean to me, as a friend, but im questioning it because i dont want you girlfriend to get jealous.....I found the perfect card for you but now your all in GF mode and that doesn't make me feel like i want to give it to you.... i mean when am i going to see you again anyway??!!! You're now nt coming on the tramp and i could get it to you at leavers diner but i dont want to do it in front of everyone... its a personal thing.....and Judging by the way you Gf is being we probably wont be able to hang out just as mates...... I'm gonna try though cause a friend like you is something special to have and i think that should be appreciated.
I'm also thinking of getting you a Christmas pressie.... just something little.....i found a couple of things one little and one a bit more expensive that i cant really afford but it was so you. this other thing though, it summed up the greatness of a friend like you in a nutshell....
You told me the other night something that made me want to cry, not cause i was upset about it but i dont know i just wanted to cry but didnt.....You said that you had feelings for me when we started really getting along well.... I had feeling s for you as well but i kept them under my hat......well to you anyway.. i denied it at first but i couldn't any longer.....you said that you hadn't been just midnlessly flirting with me all that time, you did actaully have feelings for me... but when we started becoming really close you had to make your mind up.. you said "it was her, its always been her" . I accept that and thats fine... but knowing you had feelings for me and knowing all the stuff you said and when yo utold me you meant it all my heart ached..... she is such a lucky girl to have you but
(non biass) if shes going to try and take over your life then its not worth it.....
You are so amazing.. i know ive told you that but you are...... you said if it was earlier in the year, the whole me and you thing, you might have actually gone there....If you feel like that then you shouldn't be with her!!!! (Non biass again) You are so incredible and just well everything and yeah i may think you are sorta in a cult but everyone is free to believe in whatever they like.........the only reason i think your in a cult is cause i don't think that anywhere in the bible it says you can drink coffee or tea or take painkillers....and you get sent to the other side of the world to preach the gospel... they have people in their own countries to do that..... you said the men are pretty much forced to go.... that's not fair....Anyway.. the point im getting to is that you're the kind of guy i could picture myself with........ But i know that's never gonna happen cause you have been in love with her and still am and rah rah rah but if you were in love with her then you shouldn't consider leaving her for someone you had just started to get to know........... okay yeah i would've felt terrible if you did but maybe it would've worked...??? who knows? But i think that when you came out and were honest with me the other night i maybe might've got butterflies... i don't know... maybe they were hidden by the heartache that i felt....If you two ere so in love and you've been at UHC all year then why do you never hang out? We never see you even associate with each other....that's a bit weird don't you think?
I don't know what im getting at here.. i've kinda lost track........but you are a great guy and you don't deserve to be wrapped around a girls finger, you should be allowed to have independence.... maybe at the age of 16 she cant understand that just cause you spend time with 3 other girls for 30 odd hours doesn't mean that anything would happen???!!!! And it shouldn't if you are as in love with her as you say you are......
Right its nearly 11pm i have racing i nthe w.e and you have made me really annoyed! I havent needed to update FB or go on blog because ive been happy! I gave something up to God for this first time and it felt AMAZING! I guess it time to do it with this aswell... maybe.... or maybe he wants to see me work with his guidance first... we'll see...... Ill leave with those though......
You are handsome, kind, caring, funny, athletic(secretly), honest, down to earth, God living...... I dont know what more one could want in a guy....... You are one special friend to me and you are truly a blessing from God. I wish you well with your relationship and moving to America. This is it....... "Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you two
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
I love you in a friend way and if she ever hurts you or whenwver you need a friend i'm always here, dont forget about me please.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Maybe
Maybe you're not the right guy for me? Maybe you are best to go and get drunk and get laid like you usually do.... Maybe you were to dumb to realise what was infront of you this whole time, a girl who actually cared for and understood you, one that knew your past, believed in your future and accepted you for who you are today...........A girl that actually wanted a relationship with you not jut get into your pants....But maybe if after all this time you cant realise this then thats the only kind of girl you deserve, one that just wants to get into your pants, who doesnt actaully care about you, who wont always be there for you, who wont realise your down, who wont cheer you up in a non sexual manner.
We could have something good, something real, but you obviously don't want it.....Maybe Mum was right when she said "I know who you really like but it will never happen cause it just wont" Well i wish it would but if it's not what you want then i guess i cant do anything about it......
I just wish we didn't flirt so much and we weren't so close that you always made me feel this way if you never wanted a relationship in the first place......Let me know when you don't want to just play with me..... You are such a good friend and i dont want to lose that but you make my life harder each time you do this...... Last time i saw you with two other girls in a week.... you killed me inside that time but now.... now im not gonna let you do that again... now im just gonna let go.
I pray for you every night that things will get easier for you.. nothing to do with me... Just you, that God will heal you and give you a sense of peace..... You say thanks heaps when i tell you im praying for you but do you actually mean that? I will always be here for you as a friend when you need cheering up, i will always look out for you and keep you close in my heart but maybe you are just supposed to be a friend...... I think im just gonna give this up to God tonight, I didn't think i would have to, i thought praying about it would help but now its just gonna be in God's hands... not mine anymore.
We could have something good, something real, but you obviously don't want it.....Maybe Mum was right when she said "I know who you really like but it will never happen cause it just wont" Well i wish it would but if it's not what you want then i guess i cant do anything about it......
I just wish we didn't flirt so much and we weren't so close that you always made me feel this way if you never wanted a relationship in the first place......Let me know when you don't want to just play with me..... You are such a good friend and i dont want to lose that but you make my life harder each time you do this...... Last time i saw you with two other girls in a week.... you killed me inside that time but now.... now im not gonna let you do that again... now im just gonna let go.
I pray for you every night that things will get easier for you.. nothing to do with me... Just you, that God will heal you and give you a sense of peace..... You say thanks heaps when i tell you im praying for you but do you actually mean that? I will always be here for you as a friend when you need cheering up, i will always look out for you and keep you close in my heart but maybe you are just supposed to be a friend...... I think im just gonna give this up to God tonight, I didn't think i would have to, i thought praying about it would help but now its just gonna be in God's hands... not mine anymore.
Friday, November 25, 2011
A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you today just the way you are.
I know your past; you were a complete and utter dick to be honest but you know that... i wouldn't have gone near you with a ten foot pole! But gradually I've seen you change into this charming handosme guy that has become one of my closest friends. We've text at least 2 nights in a row now.... I've slipped in a few comments but i don't know how you interpret them. i stayed up texting you till 11.30pm when i we had training this morning.... you said you went to sleep after i said goodnight..... I just don't know if it's all worth it.... you keep bringing up our conversations when we're around other people and in a way it's cool that you're not keeping it a secret but does that mean we're just friends? I wanna spend time with you, just you, in a different environment... i want to just hang out with you and be able to hang out and beat each other up without any interruptions.... I wanna get a feel of what it could be like....
I believe in your future..... yes thats how the conversation the other night started off. I know what you're going through, I've been through similar before and it sucks but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel..... I always talk you about it cause i know how much it helps to have someone there for you.... if you hadn't been there for me i don't know where i would be right now. Sure other people helped heaps but you, you understood everything, you got how i was feeling, the pain and sorrow i felt...
I accept you today for who you are... well kinda..... I don't know how much 'sexual conduct' you get up to these days but i don't accept that nor do i accept the way you always get drunk on the weekends unless you have no money. Here's an idea... Why don't you save the money you spend on drinks and use it to pay for physio??!!!
I am a close friend to you and yes you have said that before but this proves that i know you on that deeper level not just superficially so to speak..... I want to try actually having our feelings out in the open and just locked away in a closet leaving me wondering and maybe you i don't know....
.
I guess im writing this cause 1) i want you to know how i feel even though i know you dont read this and 2) i want to know how you feel. If you dont see us being more than friends then tell me now and i will back off and not keep liking you even more.....cause right now I really like you.....
I believe in your future..... yes thats how the conversation the other night started off. I know what you're going through, I've been through similar before and it sucks but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel..... I always talk you about it cause i know how much it helps to have someone there for you.... if you hadn't been there for me i don't know where i would be right now. Sure other people helped heaps but you, you understood everything, you got how i was feeling, the pain and sorrow i felt...
I accept you today for who you are... well kinda..... I don't know how much 'sexual conduct' you get up to these days but i don't accept that nor do i accept the way you always get drunk on the weekends unless you have no money. Here's an idea... Why don't you save the money you spend on drinks and use it to pay for physio??!!!
I am a close friend to you and yes you have said that before but this proves that i know you on that deeper level not just superficially so to speak..... I want to try actually having our feelings out in the open and just locked away in a closet leaving me wondering and maybe you i don't know....
.
I guess im writing this cause 1) i want you to know how i feel even though i know you dont read this and 2) i want to know how you feel. If you dont see us being more than friends then tell me now and i will back off and not keep liking you even more.....cause right now I really like you.....
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Caring
"i tear my heart open, i sew myself shut, my weakness is that i care too much..." oh how true that is.... If i didn't care so much life would be alot easier. I'm the one who will always be there for you to cheer you up, to notice your in a bad mood to start off with and be the one who you can talk to about things.... I dont know if we should risk losing that. I don't care because i have feelings for, i just naturally care about you, its in my nature....
"first you tear my heart out, then you tell me goodbye...you're some kind of vampire"
You keep getting more and flirty with me... you hugged me last night... you tried to cover it up like you were goofing around but there was more to it... I could tell... but I dont know... God told me I'm not over you and i accept that but i don't know what to do about it.... you are a charmer and for all i know you could be out here charming all these other girls.......After all it's in your nature.....People change and i know you have but i don't know if you would be able to change that much... i keep getting reminded that we know where you've been.... "someone like him but not him is the kinda guy you want to be bringing home"........... You make me laugh and im pretty sure im always smiling around you but i dont know.... part of me says we should at least try something and if it doesnt work keep the friendship but part of me says we should just leave it as friends.
I made a decision to stop liking you.. however after i made that decision you decided what a better time than to flirt with me immensly??!!!! And ever since then aswell...I Don't know what's going through your head but maybe ti would be easier if i did?? Maybe it would all be easier if you had a gf...... then i would be able to let go... no that would be harder cause that would meant that you hurt me again and lead me on just to crash me down again.......
I just want some answers from you! if you feel that way then let me know and we can talk about it! Don't just flirt and leave it at that!!!! At least imply things more than "if you take physchology you cant mess with my head"... Please......
"first you tear my heart out, then you tell me goodbye...you're some kind of vampire"
You keep getting more and flirty with me... you hugged me last night... you tried to cover it up like you were goofing around but there was more to it... I could tell... but I dont know... God told me I'm not over you and i accept that but i don't know what to do about it.... you are a charmer and for all i know you could be out here charming all these other girls.......After all it's in your nature.....People change and i know you have but i don't know if you would be able to change that much... i keep getting reminded that we know where you've been.... "someone like him but not him is the kinda guy you want to be bringing home"........... You make me laugh and im pretty sure im always smiling around you but i dont know.... part of me says we should at least try something and if it doesnt work keep the friendship but part of me says we should just leave it as friends.
I made a decision to stop liking you.. however after i made that decision you decided what a better time than to flirt with me immensly??!!!! And ever since then aswell...I Don't know what's going through your head but maybe ti would be easier if i did?? Maybe it would all be easier if you had a gf...... then i would be able to let go... no that would be harder cause that would meant that you hurt me again and lead me on just to crash me down again.......
I just want some answers from you! if you feel that way then let me know and we can talk about it! Don't just flirt and leave it at that!!!! At least imply things more than "if you take physchology you cant mess with my head"... Please......
not over you
Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you....
Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you....
Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Waiting
I could tell something was wrong yesterday but i didnt want to ask. i Figured that if you wanted to talk about you would, that's what you usually do. i was prepared to stay up and talk about it but you didnt seem in a talking mood so i sad goodnight and went to sleep. woke up a 9.30 this morning,. best sleep I've had for a long time. There is so much about me you don't know because I'm scared of what you'll think. There's stuff about me that noone knows cause im scared what they'll think.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Love
You say you fell in love with your best friends 3 years ago and you have been waiting 3 years to date her...HOW DOES SHE KNOW SHE'S IN LOVE WHEN SHE'S 13????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have nothing against you being 2 days away from dating her but it just confuses me how she knew she was in love with you so young. she's hurt you before which lead to you making a big mistake and i say this honestly as a friend... whats to stop her hurting you again? You had to make her jealous to get her back that time..... and now you're just gonna pack up and move with her....... She's only 16 in a couple of days and she's ready to make what quite possibly will be the biggest decision of her life... letting a boy move to the other side of the world with her..... it's alright for you... you have finished school in a week or so and then you can go on to uni and everything but to her.....
I dont know.... that's just my opinion.....everything just seems a bit out of wack to me.... and thats purely on a friends basis.
Alot of things about you confuse me.... But you are slowly becomign a close guy mate and i like it. =)
I dont know.... that's just my opinion.....everything just seems a bit out of wack to me.... and thats purely on a friends basis.
Alot of things about you confuse me.... But you are slowly becomign a close guy mate and i like it. =)
Contagious
I am accepting the fact that I can't like you, that I was just being silly and that's fine. I would rather have you as a guy mate than nothing at all. But there's just something about your smile...Its contagious......You wore that top again.... the one that brings out your eyes..... you don't know how hard i tried to not look.... even if i dont really fancy you anymore..... you are very good eye candy... :P I turned around in the exam today and saw you smiling at me... it was nice.... and then you laughed at me cause i couldn't get up quietly.. =( But yeah i just like having you as a good guy mate. Its much better than a relationship... so much less work! ahahah
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Games
Are you trying to mess with my head? You are such an amzing guy, and you fit my list.... well atleast i thought you did. I thought you weren't a big flirt... turns out i was wrong...You tell me yo uthink Im an amazing girl, that you love the fact that im so righteous, funny, smart, caring and "might i say rather beautiful" YOU DONT SAY THESE THINGS TO A GIRL YOU DONT HAVE FEELINGS FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then in that same text you tell me you have a girlfriend!!!!!!!!! An unofficial relationship for 3 years my Butt!!! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???!!!! You've had a proper girlfriend at school this year... what do you have to say about that???!!!! The last few days spending time with you have been amazing. i gel with you soo well and ive learnt soo much about you in these few days and you say there's so much more i have to find out. you say you want to spend more time with me, that you wish we had started our friendship earlier on in the year... when you said that i thought you meant cause you could see it going further than friends and with you moving away..to another country....to be with your girlfriend you now tell me, thats not gonna be very easy.... i thought at least we might be able to enjoy it while it lasts. I liked you, i actually liked you, i still do, you give me butterflies. I asked you to sit next to me last night because i wanted to spend more time with you, i wanted to enjoy your company some more and i did. i had the best night last night.... mainly because of my awards but i sat in between two very awesome people, you and my best friend. We had soo many laughs last night and when i got my big award and you had already left, it made me a little sad inside.. You were the one guy i could talk to everything about comfortably. we talked about God and the greatness of his love, we talked about our beliefs and we came to christ, we talked about how we both used to have confidence issues but thanks to God we've overcome them. Noone else knows that, noone really knows i used to wear glasses.... but you do because i felt comfortable telling you these things. our conversations and the time we spent together were just so natural and normal. it wasn't awkward or anything..... it was all soo enjoyable..... You said to me the other day that you were moving to America for university but it was a secret so i couldn't tell anyone..... why was i the person to tell? when you tell me a secret im gonna think there's something more that just friends.. .and then we were talking in our tutorial when you came and sat next to me when there was a perfectly good seat next to your guy friend you told me how you told your Mum about going to America and she was happy for you and everything.....there's one thing i've been really wanting to sya to you and I had planned on telling you in person today when you were spose to be giving me maths help but after you told me you had a gf i decided that maybe i shouldn't... You have the most gorgeous eyes! When we spent all that time in the library together the other day you had this really nice blue top on and it brought your eyes out soo much and I was trying not to stare!!! You are amazing and yeah i can see you as a good friend and that's all cool but i can see you as soo much more as well. You get me, yo understand me without knowing me on a high level. I would love to get to know you better, no strings attached, but you're going away in februrary so i can't help but think what's the point? We had prizegiving rehearsal yesterday....i swear we kept looking at each other.... idk but afterwards you made a comment about our umbrellas being "mushroom umbrellas" and after saying tis so noone can come under it and invade your personal space you cam under my umbrella!!! What were you thinking if you just want to be friends?!!! That was way to close for just friends!! i do believe the comment made was "you two are standing awkwardly close" But you know what, i liked it. of course i liked it.! But i thought it meant something. now i may have just been over thinking things way too much but when someone else read your texts... they thought the same as we.... and its the things you put winky faces after that made me think the most. like of course i love school cause you're there right ;)
There is a line between implying just friends and implying i like you! For instance "Of course i love school you're there right! :P HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA" Would be friendly but maybe pushing it a bit....
But "of course i love school cause you're there right ;) " insinuates you want more than friends!!!!!!
Last night you said you were"proud of me" for getting my sports award.... do you know how much that meant to be???!!!
Today we were spose to spend a few hours going over maths stuff so that you could help me but you got stuck on something for an hour which we had already been trying to figure out for just as long before you arrived!!!! I hope that if i need some help with stats in the weekend you will be able to help me. Just as friends, no strings attached, i promise i wont try anything, I just want/ need your help.
right·eous/ˈrÄ«CHÉ™s/
| Adjective: |
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There is a line between implying just friends and implying i like you! For instance "Of course i love school you're there right! :P HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA" Would be friendly but maybe pushing it a bit....
But "of course i love school cause you're there right ;) " insinuates you want more than friends!!!!!!
Last night you said you were"proud of me" for getting my sports award.... do you know how much that meant to be???!!!
Today we were spose to spend a few hours going over maths stuff so that you could help me but you got stuck on something for an hour which we had already been trying to figure out for just as long before you arrived!!!! I hope that if i need some help with stats in the weekend you will be able to help me. Just as friends, no strings attached, i promise i wont try anything, I just want/ need your help.
Monday, November 7, 2011
YAY!!
Tonights training=6x800ms, Tongihts results=6xPB's!!!! WWWWWWWWOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Whatever i had today to make me do that! I absolutely love you! Praise the LorD for the strength he gave me to do that! For the guidance he is giving me with skating! Lord thankyou for showing me i made the right choice! I love you!!! =) Amen =)
Smile =)
It's the little things you do that make me smile. like scare me when I'm packing up, or going "wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle" cause you know it makes me laugh, like the smile you give me when you see me..... You know me... you get me.... and when you said that i gave you the boost you needed last night it made me feel important to you.....
Thursday, November 3, 2011
THE END =((
JT: you are amazing, beautiful, funny, weird, intelligent, good at cycling... you're just all over awesome and im soo glad that we have had some awesome time this year! Stats has always been something to look forward to with our conversations! We had a good time at the cycling champs even if i was a complete fail on a bike 3 times as heavy as any one elses but it was still funny! you have been a great friend to me and i hope that we continue our friendship as we part.
Hannah: You always manage to make me laugh without trying! You are soo unique and so beautiful and intelligent its insane!!! Bio lessons this year were always exciting with you are around! all the best for waikato im sure you will do fab!!!
Leanne: ahhh the good times we have had!! I rmeeber the day last year you said "stop sticking your pointy hard thing up my bum!!" Eco and bio last year were just fab! from the time that you weren't sure what was going on with michael...whether you were together or whether he liked you or not to telling me what you two got up to in the weeknd! ;P You are such an amzing girl a nd you are....words can not describe how amazing you are! You meann soo much to me and i want to always keep in contact!!!! thanks for all the advice you've given me over the years It's been really helpful! I love you and everything about you!
Bex: You make me laugh! You can be such an egg sometimes but so awesome other times! thanks for the relationship advice you gave me and for being an awesome english buddy!!! Good luck for Aussie next year! I'm sure you'll do great!!!
Clarissa: Oh wow... i remember the day you came to my class in year 8 and i couldn't remember your name!!! hahah thanks for being such an awesome chicky and you are soo beautiful and amazing! This year i have seen such a change in you this last year and you have really blossomed!! I like how we always talked about God at the start of the year before you ditched me! They were some real nice convos!!!
Brooke: you're awesome!!! We had some good times before you started wagging PE everyday!!! but the times we had were good and i hope you go on to do something great with your life!!
Sara: We've had some good times in football this year and we've had some good laughs!! Thanks for being awesome and i wish you all the best for the years ahead!!!
Michael: i have never really talked to you much but when i have you are such an awesome dude! I really wish i had gotten to know you better but that's okay! Best of luck with whatever you do and keep having that amazing passion for God that you have! I am lookign forward to hanging with you after exams and having our convo! ahahaha
Bradley: wow...... we have known each other for a long time but never ben that closer friends... wierd huh??
well.... things were interesting with you.... we had the whole of year 13 just about knowing that we had a thing and then that died down while i was away and then so did we and then we fixed everything and the nwe decided that actually we are better to try just be better friends. you are an aweosme, good luckiong funny guy who is a complete nutter but that still cool! you will make an awesome teacher one day and i wish you all the best for it!
Dearest Jessica Gibbs: GERMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh the good times we have had!!!!! From year 11 Maths to now........ you have changed so much as a person and i love you still the same!!! they way you are in a journey towards God right now is soo amazing and it means soo much to be able to help you with that!!!
you are soo intelligent even if you dont realise it! and beautiful and funny and a big fatty!!!! i lvoe you soo much and i look forward to our future friendship! the last 2 weeks have been a couple of the best weeks of our freindship and you have the ability to know what's going on in my head when i dont and to give me the kick up the bum when I need it!!! Tahnkyou for being my best friend and i am soo happy we managed to push through such a rough time in your life.!! xoxoox
ANd Kimberly........ we didnt have long together last year but what we had was soo awesome!!! our freindship started slowly and took off like a rocket!!! You are amazing and one of the most amazing people i know!!! you helped bring me to God and i thank you for that heaps!!!! even after you have moved away our frindsahip has got even stronger and i thank God for that!!! I cant wait till i next see you! Hopefuully soon!!! But yeha you will make an awesome dentist one day!!!!
So yeah i love you all and keep in touch!!! I never wanna forget you guys!!!! All the best for your futures and best of luck for exams if you have them! Study hard!!!!!!!
And Girls... im keen for some movie nights and glee catchups after exams!!!!! XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOX
Hannah: You always manage to make me laugh without trying! You are soo unique and so beautiful and intelligent its insane!!! Bio lessons this year were always exciting with you are around! all the best for waikato im sure you will do fab!!!
Leanne: ahhh the good times we have had!! I rmeeber the day last year you said "stop sticking your pointy hard thing up my bum!!" Eco and bio last year were just fab! from the time that you weren't sure what was going on with michael...whether you were together or whether he liked you or not to telling me what you two got up to in the weeknd! ;P You are such an amzing girl a nd you are....words can not describe how amazing you are! You meann soo much to me and i want to always keep in contact!!!! thanks for all the advice you've given me over the years It's been really helpful! I love you and everything about you!
Bex: You make me laugh! You can be such an egg sometimes but so awesome other times! thanks for the relationship advice you gave me and for being an awesome english buddy!!! Good luck for Aussie next year! I'm sure you'll do great!!!
Clarissa: Oh wow... i remember the day you came to my class in year 8 and i couldn't remember your name!!! hahah thanks for being such an awesome chicky and you are soo beautiful and amazing! This year i have seen such a change in you this last year and you have really blossomed!! I like how we always talked about God at the start of the year before you ditched me! They were some real nice convos!!!
Brooke: you're awesome!!! We had some good times before you started wagging PE everyday!!! but the times we had were good and i hope you go on to do something great with your life!!
Sara: We've had some good times in football this year and we've had some good laughs!! Thanks for being awesome and i wish you all the best for the years ahead!!!
Michael: i have never really talked to you much but when i have you are such an awesome dude! I really wish i had gotten to know you better but that's okay! Best of luck with whatever you do and keep having that amazing passion for God that you have! I am lookign forward to hanging with you after exams and having our convo! ahahaha
Bradley: wow...... we have known each other for a long time but never ben that closer friends... wierd huh??
well.... things were interesting with you.... we had the whole of year 13 just about knowing that we had a thing and then that died down while i was away and then so did we and then we fixed everything and the nwe decided that actually we are better to try just be better friends. you are an aweosme, good luckiong funny guy who is a complete nutter but that still cool! you will make an awesome teacher one day and i wish you all the best for it!
Dearest Jessica Gibbs: GERMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh the good times we have had!!!!! From year 11 Maths to now........ you have changed so much as a person and i love you still the same!!! they way you are in a journey towards God right now is soo amazing and it means soo much to be able to help you with that!!!
you are soo intelligent even if you dont realise it! and beautiful and funny and a big fatty!!!! i lvoe you soo much and i look forward to our future friendship! the last 2 weeks have been a couple of the best weeks of our freindship and you have the ability to know what's going on in my head when i dont and to give me the kick up the bum when I need it!!! Tahnkyou for being my best friend and i am soo happy we managed to push through such a rough time in your life.!! xoxoox
ANd Kimberly........ we didnt have long together last year but what we had was soo awesome!!! our freindship started slowly and took off like a rocket!!! You are amazing and one of the most amazing people i know!!! you helped bring me to God and i thank you for that heaps!!!! even after you have moved away our frindsahip has got even stronger and i thank God for that!!! I cant wait till i next see you! Hopefuully soon!!! But yeha you will make an awesome dentist one day!!!!
So yeah i love you all and keep in touch!!! I never wanna forget you guys!!!! All the best for your futures and best of luck for exams if you have them! Study hard!!!!!!!
And Girls... im keen for some movie nights and glee catchups after exams!!!!! XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOX
I hope you realise i don't want this anymore... i Hope you know just to let thigns fizzle out slowly and not amke things harder than they have to be. me and you, we were never gonna work.... we had nothing in common really and we were just too different. if we get anything out of this i pray that we get a closer friendship where we can talk about things. You wanna know what annoyed me most??? here goes:
-every silence you always had to break by saying awkward silence and it wasn't awkward until you said that
-the way you didn't remember things...you never asked ME how my seminar went
-the way you always had to interrogate Jess to find things out about me-why don't you just talk to me yourself?
-and really.... we're just too different.....
-the way you changed your mind about us so quickly
All these things made me realise that we weren't gonna work and really i don't know how much you were ever in my heart....i think i got all excited that a guy liked me but really i never liked you that way before you said you liked me and i think that's where I went wrong... i should've said no from the start and this wouldn't have happened.
But yeh all the best for everything and im sure you will make a fabulous teacher one day!!!!
We've had some good times and i wont forget them.
You are a great guy but just not for me and I'm sorry that it didnt work out.
-every silence you always had to break by saying awkward silence and it wasn't awkward until you said that
-the way you didn't remember things...you never asked ME how my seminar went
-the way you always had to interrogate Jess to find things out about me-why don't you just talk to me yourself?
-and really.... we're just too different.....
-the way you changed your mind about us so quickly
All these things made me realise that we weren't gonna work and really i don't know how much you were ever in my heart....i think i got all excited that a guy liked me but really i never liked you that way before you said you liked me and i think that's where I went wrong... i should've said no from the start and this wouldn't have happened.
But yeh all the best for everything and im sure you will make a fabulous teacher one day!!!!
We've had some good times and i wont forget them.
You are a great guy but just not for me and I'm sorry that it didnt work out.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
you are an amazing guy,but the way you change your midn so quickly doesnt fill me with confidence. i get that 3 weeks away from each other was always gonna be difficult but i didn't think it would be that difficult. i dont know, i guess its hard cause we dont flirt that much in person... i flirt with guys that i dont like because we are such close mates and i can say things like "it's cause i keep touching you" and laugh about it and not be awkward...
I had soo much fun being able to share me happiness and laugh with you the other night and i think that if we keep doing that it will all be fine but we just really need to work on the foundations first before we jump into it. I like you dont get me wrong and i felt so happy and comfortable with you the other night and it was like starting again but it still felt so good. i think that maybe we just need to spend time together walking around or something and just laughing with each other.
I'm really looking forward to hearing about your first day at work and tellign you about my weekend and about how high ive been this avro from diet coke, about the great day ive had! There's only more thing i want to be able to talk to you about...God.... I know i can't but i want to tell you how much he's been on my mind about how when i was with you and you started trying to suttley hint you wanted to hold hands, how you kept edging your hand closer to mine, all i could think of was "maybe it is in Gods plan for us to be together" .
This is how i see it; I have a list- you fit most of the boxes.... i can tell you want a long term thing. you're not here for a bit of a fun but when you started talking about next year and all that in our first few weeks it scared me.... i don't know why... i guess it felt like you were getting too ahead of yourself.... idk like that's all good now and stuff.... i think we can have a really good relationship if we just work on the friendship aswell...... thats another thing... yo usay you will be my rock and you want me to talk to you about stuff but God is my rock... you can be there to help me and comfort me and everything and its sweet that you say that kinda thing but when you say you will be my rock you remind me of Christ... IDK... maybe that's what you could be to me; a Christ like figure in my life and not know it.... I know you're not religious and i don't intend on changing that if thats not what you want but when i told you i was praying for you i wanted you to say thanks.... or say actually sorry but i don't need your prayer.... My best friend didn't believe in God but it touched her heart when we told her we were praying for her and then she ended up asking for prayer for me cause she wasn't sure how she felt about God and couldn't pray for me but she knew others held the faith that it worked. I want to be able to tell you about my God experiences and you think im a complete wacko but still like me anyway... i wont go on about it to you but i would like to say things to you about it and it not be awkward.. i dunno i guess thats a convo that needs having... i dont really know what im doing here-writing this... i kinda just started saying what was on my mind about you and then got carried away..
i guess after what you said the last couple of nights i need you to prove that to me... I have told you before that im always here if you want to talk... i will listen and not say anything or i will give advice if you ask for it... if nothing else..I will pray about it. i will tell god about what's troubling you and ask and pray his guidance and comfort upon you.
You are truly soo wonderful...except when you put me through a hell of a confusing week when i have enough to worry about as it is..... SO yeah im done venting for now but I'll just say that i had the biggest farm of butterflies when i was with you the other night. =))
I had soo much fun being able to share me happiness and laugh with you the other night and i think that if we keep doing that it will all be fine but we just really need to work on the foundations first before we jump into it. I like you dont get me wrong and i felt so happy and comfortable with you the other night and it was like starting again but it still felt so good. i think that maybe we just need to spend time together walking around or something and just laughing with each other.
I'm really looking forward to hearing about your first day at work and tellign you about my weekend and about how high ive been this avro from diet coke, about the great day ive had! There's only more thing i want to be able to talk to you about...God.... I know i can't but i want to tell you how much he's been on my mind about how when i was with you and you started trying to suttley hint you wanted to hold hands, how you kept edging your hand closer to mine, all i could think of was "maybe it is in Gods plan for us to be together" .
This is how i see it; I have a list- you fit most of the boxes.... i can tell you want a long term thing. you're not here for a bit of a fun but when you started talking about next year and all that in our first few weeks it scared me.... i don't know why... i guess it felt like you were getting too ahead of yourself.... idk like that's all good now and stuff.... i think we can have a really good relationship if we just work on the friendship aswell...... thats another thing... yo usay you will be my rock and you want me to talk to you about stuff but God is my rock... you can be there to help me and comfort me and everything and its sweet that you say that kinda thing but when you say you will be my rock you remind me of Christ... IDK... maybe that's what you could be to me; a Christ like figure in my life and not know it.... I know you're not religious and i don't intend on changing that if thats not what you want but when i told you i was praying for you i wanted you to say thanks.... or say actually sorry but i don't need your prayer.... My best friend didn't believe in God but it touched her heart when we told her we were praying for her and then she ended up asking for prayer for me cause she wasn't sure how she felt about God and couldn't pray for me but she knew others held the faith that it worked. I want to be able to tell you about my God experiences and you think im a complete wacko but still like me anyway... i wont go on about it to you but i would like to say things to you about it and it not be awkward.. i dunno i guess thats a convo that needs having... i dont really know what im doing here-writing this... i kinda just started saying what was on my mind about you and then got carried away..
i guess after what you said the last couple of nights i need you to prove that to me... I have told you before that im always here if you want to talk... i will listen and not say anything or i will give advice if you ask for it... if nothing else..I will pray about it. i will tell god about what's troubling you and ask and pray his guidance and comfort upon you.
You are truly soo wonderful...except when you put me through a hell of a confusing week when i have enough to worry about as it is..... SO yeah im done venting for now but I'll just say that i had the biggest farm of butterflies when i was with you the other night. =))
Friday, October 21, 2011
Yesterday
Yesterday i wanted to see my best friend and tell her all about what happened over my 3 weeks in Asia... However before i could do that i had to hear you complain about the fight you had with your Mum that you had already told me about. I had to hear you say how when you mentionedsomething i had said to you to someone else they said i was worng-you too kwhat i said the wrong way.
I see you 5 days a week and then you insist on always texting me after school and during classes! Sometimes i just need a break, when i said all that stuff i had personal reasons behind it-those of that i see you soo much already and church was my time to hang with God and my really awesome mates that Ive met along the way. However, when you come i feel i have to talk to you more than them cause otherwise you get stroppy. tomorrow i want to see everyone and tell them about my trip and hang out with them but all im gonna hear is you in my ear going yeah yeah you went gallivanting across the world for 3 weeks and did heaps of shopping! i get your jealous but when you came back from your overseas trip last year i listened to everything without judging you or telling you to stop bragging.
i cant even tell you that im spose to be going on a date with my pretty much BF to the movies because you'll get all upset about it.
you saw our best friend when i was away and she said well steph hasn't seen me for nearly a year and you got all stroppy about it, its just a fact, let it go, be happy, lighten up about everything. Don't make these last 2 weeks of school harder than they will be, im gonna be stressed enough as it is.
I see you 5 days a week and then you insist on always texting me after school and during classes! Sometimes i just need a break, when i said all that stuff i had personal reasons behind it-those of that i see you soo much already and church was my time to hang with God and my really awesome mates that Ive met along the way. However, when you come i feel i have to talk to you more than them cause otherwise you get stroppy. tomorrow i want to see everyone and tell them about my trip and hang out with them but all im gonna hear is you in my ear going yeah yeah you went gallivanting across the world for 3 weeks and did heaps of shopping! i get your jealous but when you came back from your overseas trip last year i listened to everything without judging you or telling you to stop bragging.
i cant even tell you that im spose to be going on a date with my pretty much BF to the movies because you'll get all upset about it.
you saw our best friend when i was away and she said well steph hasn't seen me for nearly a year and you got all stroppy about it, its just a fact, let it go, be happy, lighten up about everything. Don't make these last 2 weeks of school harder than they will be, im gonna be stressed enough as it is.
Sisters
Just as i thought we were falling apart, you come back and remind me that we are sisters, forever and always and that you do care about me and that my love for you will never die, for you are my longest best friend ever and i treasure you so much that you are my sister. You are such a blessing in my life and I thank God for keeping you in my life. =) xox
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
GRRR
You say it has nothing to do with me, absolutely nothing...i can't help but think it does. It hurts that you tell me something is wrong but don't tell me what... the most i get is "just thinking of how to prevent the issue" WHAT IS THE ISSUE???? You said of it wasn't for this issue you would still be hugging me from Saturday night.......well i really hope this 'issue' goes away because i don't like you like this. I leave in two days and today we're suppose to hang at lunch but i don't know if i want to... you didn't seem very sure about it last night and if you're going to be like this I'm not sure i want to. Ive just had my best guy friend be upset with me because he can't see me before i go and he has something for me. Between you and him not telling me things i was all stressed and i felt like everyone was against me. You mean so much to me and when i told you last night that you are more than just a friend to me all i got was 'yeah'. I hope that you are better for lunch time. BUt I wont be staying afterwards with you to study stats. I need to go home to pack and I wanted to spend quality time with you before I go but you don’t seem to want that so cheer up and make me want to spend time with you., cause two weeks in I shouldn’t be feeling like this!!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
.....
Jealousy is love ad hate at the same time
Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies.
What difference does it make to you what someone else becomes, or says, or does? You do not need to answer for others, only for yourself.
Oh, the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling. It's the unraveling and it undoes all the joy that could be.
Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies.
What difference does it make to you what someone else becomes, or says, or does? You do not need to answer for others, only for yourself.
Oh, the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling. It's the unraveling and it undoes all the joy that could be.
Jealousy
Never hate those people who are jealous of you but respect their jealousy because they are the ones who think that you are better than them.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
"Beware my lord, for jealousy is the green eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds on"
you've read it, you know what i mean. Jealousy eats you up from the inside out. its a disease. I would just like to let you know that he did not chose me because I'm the pretty one, the sporty one or any of that crap. He sees me for who i am, not what i look like or what i do. I get that guys like him are few and far between but I'm happy okay. you said yourself that you've lost count of how many guys Ive liked that haven't liked me back so just stop with the sob sorry. i get that it would suck seeing your best friend with a guy you used to like and I'm sorry but i would appreciate it if you let me and him be happy without interfering or threatening him or anything like that cause that's what a true best friend would do-let me be happy.
I have several best friends and you used to be near the top of the list but now you're at the bottom. to be honest, you're more a friend that a best friend any more yet i know you still feel I'm your best friend. I'm happy to be there for you and help you get through this depression but there nothing else i can do to make the whole me and him thing easier on you.To be honest, no guy would want you at the moment...there's too much baggage but once your happy again I'm sure a guy will fall for you.
You know what sucks the most i get a hug from another best Friend saying "i don't want you to go to china, I'm not gonna let you" whereas all i get from you is "you 're buggering off to gallivanting away to china"
You were with me when i was depressed about not getting into worlds even if the selectors were being stupid. one would think, being my best friend you would be soo happy for me about this and be saying that you're gonna miss me but you hope i do really well like everyone else is.
When he said he was going to miss you last year when you went overseas he meant as a friend. just cause a guy is paying attention to you doesn't mean he likes you. Heck I've learnt that for myself recently. learn from my mistakes please!!!!
Just let go of him....cause right now it seems that since me and him have started getting together you've started liking him again. Don't end up like Othello....cause you sure are going that way.
you've read it, you know what i mean. Jealousy eats you up from the inside out. its a disease. I would just like to let you know that he did not chose me because I'm the pretty one, the sporty one or any of that crap. He sees me for who i am, not what i look like or what i do. I get that guys like him are few and far between but I'm happy okay. you said yourself that you've lost count of how many guys Ive liked that haven't liked me back so just stop with the sob sorry. i get that it would suck seeing your best friend with a guy you used to like and I'm sorry but i would appreciate it if you let me and him be happy without interfering or threatening him or anything like that cause that's what a true best friend would do-let me be happy.
I have several best friends and you used to be near the top of the list but now you're at the bottom. to be honest, you're more a friend that a best friend any more yet i know you still feel I'm your best friend. I'm happy to be there for you and help you get through this depression but there nothing else i can do to make the whole me and him thing easier on you.To be honest, no guy would want you at the moment...there's too much baggage but once your happy again I'm sure a guy will fall for you.
You know what sucks the most i get a hug from another best Friend saying "i don't want you to go to china, I'm not gonna let you" whereas all i get from you is "you 're buggering off to gallivanting away to china"
You were with me when i was depressed about not getting into worlds even if the selectors were being stupid. one would think, being my best friend you would be soo happy for me about this and be saying that you're gonna miss me but you hope i do really well like everyone else is.
When he said he was going to miss you last year when you went overseas he meant as a friend. just cause a guy is paying attention to you doesn't mean he likes you. Heck I've learnt that for myself recently. learn from my mistakes please!!!!
Just let go of him....cause right now it seems that since me and him have started getting together you've started liking him again. Don't end up like Othello....cause you sure are going that way.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Forever and Always
You have been my best friend, my sister, my other pea in my pod, my twin since year 8. I love you with all my heart and we have shared some amazing times together but lately...I feel we're getting more and more distant. I had a really crap day yesterday and all i wanted to do was talk to my big sister and everything would be better. I told you a week ago that a guy liked me and asked me to the movies and i got half a conversation out of you....but i haven't felt like i can text you and update you about everything. you are soo happy with your boyfriend and I am over the moon for you but whenever you get a bf the same thing happens....i never hear from you. He takes all priority over your social life and it makes me feel like you don't remember i exist. Im hopefully moving away next year and i originally thought it would be hard to move away from my longest and bestest best friend but you're making it easier each and every day.
We said forever and always, we were gonna grow old together...never drift apart. Mum always told me that se thougth we would drift away from each other and i never lsitened to it....but now you're making it seem more and more true.
I know we have some really good times when we're together and we never fail to catch up on everything but it would be nice to be able to text you occasionally or to have you ring me spontaneously like you used to on a Friday night.
I love you and I can't wait to see your beautiful smiling again and tell you everything about how ive finally found a guy who i feel so comfortable with and makes me happy and share how i excited i am with you about china.
I'll always love you...forever and always just like we promised. xxxxxx <3
"There's a special kind of freedom sisters enjoy. Freedom to share innermost thoughts, to ask a favor,
to show their true feelings. The freedom to simply be themselves."
We said forever and always, we were gonna grow old together...never drift apart. Mum always told me that se thougth we would drift away from each other and i never lsitened to it....but now you're making it seem more and more true.
I know we have some really good times when we're together and we never fail to catch up on everything but it would be nice to be able to text you occasionally or to have you ring me spontaneously like you used to on a Friday night.
I love you and I can't wait to see your beautiful smiling again and tell you everything about how ive finally found a guy who i feel so comfortable with and makes me happy and share how i excited i am with you about china.
I'll always love you...forever and always just like we promised. xxxxxx <3
"There's a special kind of freedom sisters enjoy. Freedom to share innermost thoughts, to ask a favor,
to show their true feelings. The freedom to simply be themselves."
Monday, September 19, 2011
mates before dates...to a point
I finally find a decent guy that likes me for who i am and who makes me happy and she can't deal with that. i get that she liked him last year but she's moved on from that...he didn't like her, she was obsessive and clingy and we're all friends now so i don't see the problem. Just because i have something that she wants doesn't mean she has to get all upset about it. one minute shes happy for me and says its fine an next minute shes crying about it.
I've felt like walking out of this friendship so many times but I've stayed because i do still care. i get that you're depressed and all but now i don't give a rats tail because you know you have it but you don't want to do anything about it and I'm sick of you moaning about everything and being in a complete and utter bad moods nearly everyday! We've had some good times...and ill always carry the memories with me wherever i go but right now i just need some space. I hope you understand.....
I've felt like walking out of this friendship so many times but I've stayed because i do still care. i get that you're depressed and all but now i don't give a rats tail because you know you have it but you don't want to do anything about it and I'm sick of you moaning about everything and being in a complete and utter bad moods nearly everyday! We've had some good times...and ill always carry the memories with me wherever i go but right now i just need some space. I hope you understand.....
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