You came shopping with us yesterday, it was slightly awkward but it was nice. For the first time in a long time i felt like I had my best guy mate back... we could insult each other and punch each other like good ole times, the times i miss. the times where i knew i could talk to you about anything end everything, the times where i knew i could rely on you to be there for me when i needed you....... I can't help but feel things have changed since you came to the ball..... i know the ball wasn't the funnest of nights for you but you have to look at it from my perspective..... the first thing you said to me when i saw you was "you look amazing" i was flattered, but you were only my best guy mate and that's not what i wanted to hear... "you look nice" would've done the same thing but without the awkwardness...you and me, we had a good friendship... we cold insult and punch each other all we liked but we could also have good conversations as well....when you came to the ball you weren't that person.... as bad as it sounds you were a gentleman... holding the door open for me, offering me your coat.... that's not what i invited you to be... i invited you to be my good guy mate and to have some good fun..... i am sorry i wasn't the best that night but it was quite difficult.....it was almost as if i had been set up on a blind date with someone i had never met before......that's how it felt to me... I know you had you GF's ball 2 weeks before and so you were probably all gentleman there and that's fine, you're kinda spose to be when your her BF but not when we're just mates i didn't want you being all like that.... Yesterday reminded me of what i had been missing all this time... i don't know how to talk to you about it so you can understand and i know you wont see this cause you have no idea i have a blog but somehow i just want you to know that this is why i wasn't the best that night.... and the slow dance!!!! That was the most awkwardest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't like it was for a laugh even!!!! I was happy to sit there and watch all the COUPLES slow dance and then maybe get up with my best friend for a laugh and if me and you had done it for a laugh it would've been fine but it wasn't... it was too much.... I know you were just trying to make it a really god night for me but honestly, i think it would've been better if you had just relaxed and not thought about it all..... then maybe just maybe, I still would feel like i could come to you about anything....... I used to always tell you about guys... I havent told you about it recently...... i think you found out a bit yesterday but nowhere as much as you would normally know..... i don't know if that's just cause it's so similar to what me and you had or just cause we've been so distant lately.... the only time i hear from you is when you text both me and my best friend at the same time, a one worded text. and even then the convo doesn't last cause you're going to your GF's or you're going to youth or something...... Just let me know when i get my best guy mate back... please... cause i really miss him.....